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dreams

After getting home from the concert with Carley I went straight to bed but then i got up to use the bathroom and it took me a minute to register but there was a beige tarantula climbing on top of the toilet paper. i stared at it in horror and then Aslan came in but i knew it really wasn’t aslan (because it was dream Aslan and i could sense something was off) and i was like what is he doing, but then i realized he he was eating it and i could hear the crunch. so i must have been squealing because my mom knocked on my door and as i walked over to open it i noticed a lit tealight candle on top of my jewelry box and i was like when did i light a candle? but i opened the door and tried to explain the tarantula but she was whispering to me: “what are you doing still up and making all of these noises?”

and i noticed there were tears pouring down her face and she said “there’s a couple next door crying hysterically. I hear them through the walls. But they’re okay.”

and she was so sad and I could tell so i started to go to her room w her to comfort her and i said, “there’s a tarantula in my bathroom.”

and she said, “there’s clickers of tarantulas in the air vents.” and i was trying to figure out what that meant and she wanted to hug me so she did but she tickled my ribcage by accident and i jerked back and she tried again but she did the same thing and i tried to say stop but nothing would come out and now it felt like someone was holding me down and breathing hard in my ear and my mom was on her side crying so it wasn’t her and i had sleep paralysis for a while and then i woke up at 3:15 am.

dreams

I was going to a concert with Carley and we were getting ready at her house beforehand, and my best school friend from middle school was there and her mom was there and they were being total snobs and i remember i was trying to pee and they  kept coming in and making snide comments about Carley’s bathroom and i was like, “i’m trying to pee.” but they didn’t listen and so i found another bathroom. So then I find carley in her mom’s room getting her vicoden and she’s like i’ll give you one and a half for the concert and i was like sure. so for some reason the middle school friend’s mom is driving us to the concert and she’s being really stressful and when we get to the venue we meet us with these guys who i think symbolize daniel, santi, etc and we were acting all rowdy and hyper and even though we had tickets we thought it would be fun to sneak through the back so we opened the door and there was an instant alarm and someone w a megaphone saying to check the back so we just ran to the front and got in like normal people. then while at the concert we were the only teenagers there and the adults were really annoyed with us and we were annoyed that they were annoyed.

dreams

I went to a party full of people i don’t talk to anymore and i was with some current friends and we were just standing around talking and there was uneasiness in the air and i noticed two other girls who were standing off to the side and one was crying and the other was just pissed off and they were glaring and reprimanding my ex boyfriend and i saw this and looked over and realized he and his friends were all zonked out on heroin and they had track marks and also some blood running down their arms and my heart started pounding and my mind was racing and i left and went to some kind of movie theatre in someone’s house but there was no movie playing

dreams

I won 5100$ because my teacher found a picture of me when I was little with my dad and she told me you’re going to win 5100 and I thought it was too good to be true but she called in other people eho worked at the school and they were reluctant to say do because they were jealous but they couldn’t deny it so they entered it and told me to wait for the response so during the waiting I bonded with the teacher and then this adult guy who had heard about the contest decided to stage a baby picture of himself and try to beat me and eventually I had to battle him and he showed up with a gun and combat boots but I won

dreams

I have this dream where there’s this big event somewhere on south beach in a church and there’s a cemetery but it’s always under construction and whenever i go, something happens and the event ends before its supposed to or I lose the people I’m with or something weird like that and this time I’m at a family pool party and there are children there and one falls in the pool and I look at the dad like ‘!!!’ and he doesn’t say anything and I start freaking out but then I realize she can swim and she is already at the shallow end and that’s ok. So then the family starts congregating about going to the church event and this little girl who is Asian jumps in but starts crying and no one notices so I jump in and swim with her to the shallow end and we get out and (we’re still dry) we get in the car and everyone’s like ‘woo!’ and this 20 year old party girl who is apparently part of my family lights a cigarette and suddenly Agustin is there and I tell him ‘look Agustin I brought handcuffs!’ and I’m wearing them and he’s like ‘oh!! You brought the authentic ones!’ and he looks at them and says ‘that’s so hot!’ and I’m like hehe and then I’m like look at this! And I have these like ankle handcuffs that you can still walk in but it looks like you can’t and he was like that’s so hot! And I laughed and then he started tickling me and I’m like wtf stop and he doesn’t stop and the party girl is like ‘ooh girl’ and then we get there and the event is really disorganized and everyone is just sitting around outside on these coral benches and then the presenters come and they start showing us these models of buildings made of edible sand and everyone’s really impressed and they split us up into two groups and I get separated from everyone and our group is supposed to learn how to make them but they don’t teach us and instead they just give us pieces of the buildings and I get one and I ask this girl ‘are we supposed to eat these?’ and she’s like no you keep them and I’m like why would I keep this and I walk away and take a bite but it’s not good and so I go to the cemetery entrance and it’s really dark and Nathan is there and I’m like hey and suddenly we’re on a mission to get into the cemetery but it’s under construction and we try to sneak in but we hear really scary grunting men with pick axes who are working on the cemetery and we know they will kill us so we sneak around in between bushes and a wall but it’s a really long path and if anyone comes through we have no chance of escaping so we are very scared but we get to the end and we hear scary guys coming and there’s this giant hole in the wall that leads to a tunnel and I say ‘if anyone comes, we should go on top of the wall and not the tunnel’ because there is something fishy about the tunnel but we just walk straight to the cemetery without a problem.

dreams

There was a dog who would constantly get into our house and one day i realized he had rabies and everyone freaked out and we tried to get him out of the house and there was a neighborhood black cat that visited us sometimes and i realized the dog bit him and we had to make it leave and we were all really scared and i remembered my cat and was constantly trying to save it and life was a constant struggle and so one day nathan and someone else tried to help me devise a plan to get it out of the house and i attempted to put it into action but was interrupted by someone  who lived with us coming home and i saw that she had been bitten and everyone was scared and crying because there was nothing we could do. 

dreams

i had just gone to visit my dad and i’m standing outside a mansion that he lives in, talking to these french women who were with us in the house about fashion and they start to really like me. we are waiting for the rest of the family to come so we can leave to go to the french people’s house and have dinner there and while we wait this one french lady keeps interrogating me about my life and judging me in a maternal way and just generally acting like a mom and she makes me drive around the block and she is impressed with my driving skills and wants me to drive to her house but i cannot attend the dinner at her house because i have to study for two tests and it was already 7pm. they are confused and i see my family coming toward us and tell them and my grandad says he understands and that i don’t have to come.

but somehow i end up going anyway and i am outside this other mansion in the yard where there is a ton of people and we’re all waiting for the dinner and it’s taking a really super long time and i ask my uncle what exactly they are making besides salmon that’s taking so long and he says ‘the only other option is asparagus’ and i look over and annie’s brother allen is sitting at a table with birthday decorations and a bunch of asparagus and someone tells me that we’re celebrating his birthday and that he loves asparagus. so i accept this and go inside and a bunch of people are watching the news on this huge tv in the middle of the massive living room and i overhear that they found a cure for anger management problems and it’s a shot and they show these little girls who are waiting for the shot and this one girl is like 4 and she’s crying because she’s so happy that she won’t be angry anymore and i remember thinking ‘how can you live with so much anger inside of you all the time’ and trying to fathom it and

suddenly i am at the place where they shot the news on the tv and everyone is watching this girl get strolled in on a wheelchair with a shot in her mouth and the anchorwoman says ‘the shot is so painful to possess that this girl has to be drugged up with a lot of xanax before she gets the shot.’ so i’m walking around and i’m in this room where a bunch of high school students and my psychology teacher and my marine bio teacher and some other teachers are all focused on this dosage of the medication (which is called something that starts with an ‘S’ and is one short word but i can’t remember the name). so these people are all freaking out and trying to prepare the medication for the girl who needs it and it’s taking forever so everyone is under a lot of pressure and the chemistry students ask everyone if they have anything flammable with them and this girl asks about having keys and a cellphone and other random things that aren’t flammable and those things are ok to have. so they proceed and my psychology teacher is sitting on the floor at the table where they are preparing the shot and watching it intently and i move up to get a better view and i’m standing behind the chemists and they tell everyone to move back just in case and suddenly there is a lot of commotion and all these moms are pounding on the door because they are impatient and my marine bio teacher goes outside to talk to them and while he’s gone my psych teacher says ‘you guys are so lucky to be witnessing all of these new medications. i don’t want to miss a second of it.’ and goes on about how it’s revolutionary and the chemists are trying to fix it but they don’t know how to do everything and they’re waiting for the marine bio teacher and i look out the back door to see what he’s doing and he’s dancing while all these angry moms are waiting for him and he sees me and secretly tells me that he’s stalling and i am confused but i tell this girl next to me and we look again and now all the moms are dancing with ridiculous dance moves and we shrug and go back to watch but the chemists can’t finish the medication so we just don’t have it. then everyone kind of runs away and i go out the back and they are gone and i didn’t understand why he was stalling until i overhear this therapist asking a girl if her wrist was okay near the bushes and she said it was ok but she was not because the death toll was now at 72 for the medication and the therapist said ‘72?!’ and she nodded and said that they’re not telling the general public. and i realize that my marine bio teacher somehow knew the whole time and was stalling to save the girl’s life.

dreams

I walk into a room after a fight with my mom and see Annie, Agustin and Soum watching a big flatscreen tv and I stop by and say hi because I know I have to go and i see soum eating chips and he doesnt say hi to me and i get really angry for some reason and take some of his chips and walk away and start throwing them at him and calling him bad names and then annie says i should stay for the movie but I can’t so I leave and I bump into Shelby who starts asking me questions about Annie and thinks that I’m going to go out with her now and then I leave and I am walking towards a golf cart on an island with this guy I barely know who I realize is going to hit on me eventually and I feel a lot of people looking at us get into the golf cart and I feel weird and I am driving and he is trying to explain to me the way to pronounce his name but he keeps contradicting himself and I am pretending to be interested and then I drive into the water and the golf cart turns into some kind of sea plane and he’s still talking to me while I’m trying to maneuver this thing and we’re going super fast and then the guy turns into Nathan who is telling me about how most people who drive these things crash and I said ‘that sucks for them’ and he said yeah and we jump out onto land while the plane cart bursts into flames and suddenly we’re in trouble with some terrorists and we know that they just blew up a bunch of stuff and we hop onto a yacht to hide from them and we hear them coming so we jump from the boat into the water and they ask for our names as we jump and both of us give fake names and mine was Barbie. So we’re in the water and I feel really slow like oxy and he pulls me into this building and we’re still underwater and we have to swim up the stairs but you can see down the hallway after each floor and the terrorists were there looking for us and it’s scary because I can barely move and then we reach air and people from our school are hanging out in the hallway and I still feel fucked up and Nathan is like ‘we have to go. Pretend you’re normal’ and the terrorists look at us and think we’ve been there the entire time so they leave. And then I go to my old biology teacher’s classroom and all of these kids are talking about the attacks we saw and I’m just sitting there quiet when one kid is like ‘the terrorists called and they said they kidnapped your mom’ and I froze and my heart started pounding and everyone was laughing and then everyone went quiet and I realized he was joking and I started laughing a lot and the kid thought I was just slow but he didn’t understand how serious that was.

dreams

I dreamed that my Tamagotchi died and it did.